How to Be a Successful Muslim Wife: 14 Steps (with Pictures)
Apr 8, The marital relationship is an incredible blessing and divine sign, I know what you just thought: “but my wife/husband doesn't remind me of Allah at . Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. Husband and wife helping and supporting each other will result in a strong We must learn to forgive each others for a good spouse relationship in Islam. The task of a wife is to maintain and take care of a husband. you," "I missed you ," "I am happy to see you," help enormously in promoting a good relationship.
What a psychiatrist could give the amount of care that you would give? Do not underestimate your ability to soothe and strengthen him. There is no one more devoted and concerned over your husband's well-being other than yourself.
He would be able to draw strength from your devotions to him and cope with his problems which will relieve his emotional and mental pressures. Consequently, the mutual bond of respect and love would also be greater which can only lead towards strengthening your marital relationship.
And a good wife is the one whose husband, becomes glad upon seeing her'. They are kind and sympathetic. They support their husbands in times of difficulty and in the affairs of this world and the next. These women do not commit any acts which would incur a loss upon their husbands nor multiply their difficulties'. Acts of goodwill may then become second nature to the person whereby it becomes a habit to spend and share one's wealth for those in need.
However, if the acts of goodwill are taken for granted and unappreciated, the person may lose the desire and drive to do good. It would be natural for a person to conclude that it was a waste to give away his hard earned money when it was unappreciated. Gratitude and appreciation are admirable characteristics in a person and it is the secret by which one may attract charitable acts.
Even Allah has mentioned that gratitude for His blessings are conditional on the continual perpetuation of his grace upon mankind: If you are grateful would certainly give to you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is fully severe" Your husband is also human. Like everyone else, he enjoys being appreciated. He is willing to support his family and regards it as a moral and lawful obligation. When he is thanked and appreciated for doing his duty, those duties no longer seem to be a burden.
Whenever he buys home appliances or something like clothes and shoes for you and the children, be happy and thank him. Show your gratitude for the trivial things he does such as buying groceries, taking the family on trips and gives you your allowance. By showing your appreciation, you will make your husband feel good and rewarded for the trouble he has taken.
Be careful that you do not take his duties for granted and become indifferent towards his contributions to the family. He may become disheartened about the welfare of the family. He may prefer to spend his money elsewhere or on himself.
If a friend or relative presented you with a pair of stockings or a bunch of flowers, you would thank them repeatedly. So it is only natural and fair to show appreciation to your husband for his consideration and thoughtfulness.
Do not think that you would be belittling yourself by demonstrating your appreciation. On the contrary, you would be loved and cared for more because you appreciate the efforts of your husband whereas snobbism and selfishness can only lead towards great misfortunes.
The following are some Traditions referring to the characteristics of gratitude: Some are too tail or too short, or too fat or too skinny, have a big nose or a small one, talk too much or are too silent, are bad-tempered or too easy-going, have a very dark complexion or a very fair complexion, or eat too much, or too less, and the list can continue.
10 Tips to Spice up the Husband and Wife Relationship in Islam
Most men and women have some of these shortcomings. It is the hope of every man and woman to find a spouse who is perfect but such hopes are unrealistic. It is unlikely to find a woman who regards her husband as perfect. Those women who are in search of faults in their husbands will undoubtedly find them.
They would find a trivial shortcoming and exaggerate it by dealing on the matter to the point that it becomes an unbearable impediment. This defect then replaces all the merits of the husband. They always compare their husbands with other men.
They have established a so-called ideal man in their imaginations whose standards do not fit in their husbands. Therefore, they are always complaining about the shortcomings in their marriage. The women regard themselves as unfortunates and failures which gradually turn them into spiteful women.
What does such behaviour in a woman do to her husband? He may be a very patient person who can tolerate his rudeness but most likely he will become insulted and develop a grudge against her.
This would likely lead towards mutual arguments and elaborations of the shortcomings in each other. They will both become contemptuous of each other and their life wit!
Thus, they will either live in misery together or go for a divorce. In either case, both will lose, especially when there is no guarantee that another marriage may prove otherwise. It is a pity that some women are ignorant and obstinate in their ignorance. It is possible that they may shatter their family life over a trivial matter. The following are some illustrative cases of such women: She was not prepared to go back home until he corrected his problem.
On the basis of the husband's complaint, the court reconciled the couple and the wife returned to him.
- Part 1: The Duties of Women
- The General Guidelines
- Mutual Rights and Responsibilities of Spouses
When the couple went home, the wife could still smell his bad breath so she went into another room. The husband went crazy and killed her'.
There are those who are intelligent, realistic, and aware enough that they do not foolishly jeopardize their marriage and happiness by exaggerating the shortcomings of their husbands. Your husband is a human being like you. He is not perfect, but he may have many merits. If you are interested in your marriage and your family then do not set out to find his weaknesses.
Do not regard his small defects as important. Do not compare him with an ideal man whom you have established in your mind. There may be some faults with your husband which are not present in others. But you should remember that other men may have other defects which are non-existent in yours.
Be satisfied with his merits. You will consequently see that his merits outweigh his faults. Besides why should you expect a perfect husband when you are imperfect yourself. If you are proud enough to think you are perfect, then ask others. Why should you shatter your life for the sake of something unimportant? Ignore the faults and do not mention them in front of or behind your husband. Try to create a warm atmosphere in your family and enjoy the blessings of Allah.
However, there may be flaws in your husband's character which you may be able to correct. If so, then you can succeed only by behaving considerately and with patience.
You must not criticize him or start a row, but approach him in a friendly manner. Before your marriage you may have had other offers of matrimony. These offers may be from rich, educated, handsome men, etc whom you may have wished to marry. Such expectations were natural before your marriage. But now that you have chosen your partner and signed a sacred covenant with him to be together for the rest of your life, then forget the past altogether.
You must put aside your past wishes and forget those past offers. Do not think of any men except your husband and find peace with him. If you do otherwise you will place yourself in a strained condition. Now that you have agreed to live with your husband, why should you be constantly noticing other man? Why should you compare him with others? What do you achieve by looking at other men except putting yourself in a permanently miserable state and cause mental anguish for yourself?
You might then think that man is perfect, because you are not aware of the deficiencies of such a man. You regard your marriage as a failure and this thought might lead to disastrous ends. In the police station the woman said that, after three years of marriage, she gradually felt that she did not love her husband. If you are interested in an everlasting marriage; if you do not want mental distress; and if you want to conduct a normal life, then stop being selfish and forget your vain hopes.
Do not make compliments for other men. Do not think of any man other than your husband. Do not think to yourself: Why should you upset the foundations of your marriage?
If any of those wishes had come true, how would you know that you would have been more satisfied? Are you sure that the wives of those so-called "faultless" men are satisfied with them? If your husband suspects that you show interest in other men, he would be disheartened and would lose interest in you.
You must not cut jokes with other men or keep company with them. Men are so sensitive that they cannot even tolerate their wives to show an interest in a picture of another man. One such characteristic is that women are delicate, beautiful, and likable beings. They are charming, attractive, and lovable; whereas men are charmed, attracted by and love women's qualities.
When a man marries a woman, he wishes all his wife's beauty and affection to be reserved for him. He wishes to be the only one who benefits from her charm, affection, coquettishness, beauty, sense of humour, etc and to strictly avoid men. Man is, by nature, very ardent and intolerant of another man either looking at his wife or having any kind of relationship with her. He would regard a close relationship between his wife and other men to be a violation of his lawful right.
He expects his wife to observe Islamic Hijab statutory Islamic dress for women and by adapting herself to Islamic behaviour and ethics she cooperates in maintaining his lawful rights. Any faithful and fervent man would have such a wish. A woman's social behaviour, which is based on Islamic ethics, would set her husband's mind at rest; he would then work enthusiastically to provide for his family and his affection for his wife would increase.
Such a man would not be attracted to other women. On the contrary, a man whose wife is not concerned m with Islamic Hijab and displays her beauty to other men or socializes with them, would seriously become upset. He would regard his wife as responsible for trampling over his rights.
Such a husband would always suffer from distress and pessimism and his love for his family may gradually fade away. It is therefore in the interest of society and women that they should be dressed modestly and behave humbly; they should appear in public without any make-up and should abstain from showing off their beauty to others.
Observing Hijab is an Islamic duty. In short, they can win their husband's hearts and establish themselves in their families. Thus forestalling harm to the young men, which would also benefit the women of the society. Islam is aware of woman's specific nature of creation and regards her as a very important base of society with responsibilities towards it. It demands her to make sacrifices to carry out her responsibility by observing Islamic Hijab, which in turn would forestall social corruption and deviation and go a long way in creating stability, security and glorifying her nation.
But definitely the greatest reward is with the Almighty Allah for performing her divine duty. You should not display your beauty and adornments to strangers, be it in the house with your close relations or at other social gatherings outside your own home.
You must cover yourself before your brothers-in-law and their sons, sister-in-law's husbands, aunts' husbands, and cousins. Being not dressed as per Islamic Hijab before these people is a sin and may also cause great distress to your husband, even though he may never mention it. A woman is not restricted to covering herself to the same extent before her father-in-law, her own brother, and her nephews, although it is better to observe a certain degree of Islamic Hijab before these people too.
In other words women should not appear before these relatives of hers in the same way as she would make herself attractive for her husband. This is because most men dislike their wives to appear attractive by wearing attractive clothes and make up before other men; and of course it should not be forgotten that the tranquility of mind and the trust of a man in his wife is crucial to the survival and security of the whole family.
When two people, who love together, and cooperate with each other, make mistakes, they must be forgiving, if they do not forgive each other, then their marriage will come to an end.
Two business partners, two neighbours, two colleagues, two friends, and specifically, a husband and a wife need to be able to forgive each other. If the members of a family are unforgiving and pursue each other's mistakes, then either the family will separate or they will experience an unbearable life.
Your husband probably makes mistakes. He may insult you, abuse you, tell lies, he might even hit you. Such acts might be committed by any man. If your husband, after making a mistake, regrets it or you feel he is regretful himself for his misconduct, then forgive him and do not pursue the matter. If he is regretful but not prepared to express his apologies, then do not try to prove his mistake.
Otherwise, he might feel humiliated and he may retaliate by picking out your mistakes and consequently start a major row. So it is better for you to remain silent until he condemns himself from his conscience and starts to feel remorse about it. He would then regard you as wise and devoted wife who is interested in her husband and family. Coping with Your Husband's Relatives One of the problems of family life is the one cause between the wife and her husband's relatives.
Some women do not have a good relationship with their husband's mother, sisters, or brothers. On the one hand the wife may try to dominate her husband so that he would not be able to pay any attention even to his mother, or any other relatives and she may try to sow discord between them.
On the other hand, her mother-in-law regards herself as the owner of her son and daughter-in-law. The mother tries hard to hold on to her son and is watchful that the new woman does not try to possess him fully. She may fabricate lies about her daughter-in-law or find fault in her. This is clearly not narrowly referring to farmers or the like.
We have here a statement from Allah saying that for those who put in the effort for the hereafter, they will get the recompense in the hereafter and for those who put the effort for this life; they will get their reward in this life.
So within the context of a wife, we should take the general meaning in all its applications as relevant. Your wife is the one that you protect and love, the one you support and guide. And in return for your effort, she is the one who obeys and loves you, the one that gives you affection and tranquillity, the one that guards you honour etc. The wife should be receptive to her husband and his needs, as Allah has revealed that the husband comes to his wife as he pleases.
As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct nushuzadmonish them firstNextrefuse to share their beds, And last separate from them; but if they obey you, seek not against them Means of annoyance: For Allah is Most High, great above you all. This is the decree of Allah that must be established if at all possible.
It is not for men, women or society at large to dictate otherwise. It makes sense that Allah would specify the dynamics between husband and wife that fulfil this verse and further, that Allah would design the man and the woman to be fulfilled by this dynamic. A man should not only accept this arrangement, he must embody it as best he can so that his wife appreciates and submits to the arrangement.
He should to seek to be a worthy leader and caretaker for his wife, to organise his finances and circumstances as best he can to fulfil the dynamic defined by Allah. When he is respected and obeyed in his role and when he is loved and cared for because of his role. A woman will be most content when she is protected and cared for, when she respects and submits to the authority of her husband and can give her love and devotion in this context. In short, for the man that embodies the strength and leadership of the correct Muslim man, a woman will automatically respect and submit by her nature.
A woman should be devoutly obedient to her husband, in that she should obey him in matters that are not expressly forbidden by Allah.
A lazy, immature husband that neglects his role does not deserve the obedience of his wife. It should be noted that some have stated that the obedience mentioned in this verse the first time it is mentioned is for Allah. For this reason, the obedience is to the husband here and not in relation to Allah.
Obedience of the wife is critical part of the husband and wife relationship. The role of the husband is to protect and guide his wife, to look out for her affairs.
To complete this task properly and to embody the role, he must have both authority over and obedience from his wife. The analogy here is if you work in a company and you have someone under your management, you must have the authority to order this person to do tasks otherwise the company will not work harmoniously.
The example of the husband and wife is even more important than this as the husband cares for his wife much more than a manager for his subordinate and a husband has larger responsibility for his wife and her wellbeing. It must be clear that the difference in authority in the marital relationship is not indicative of a difference of worth, as Allah clearly states: Another example of this is: Days of depression, frustration, anger, spite, lack of barakah blessingand even illness and hardships make life living hell for those who refuse to be grateful in their marriages.
You and your spouse can start becoming grateful for each other right now by: They communicate like best friends What a Whatsapp conversation looks like a few years into a typical marriage: What makes a spouse less-deserving of respect, enthusiasm and affection when no one deserves it more than them except our parents for choosing to live every single day with us?
Husband and Wife in Islam - 10 Tips to Spice Up the Bond
Why do we not talk to our spouses like we talk to our best friends, even though they are much closer to us than anyone will ever be? Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. In fact, happy Muslim couples communicate just like the Prophet and his wives did.
They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: Men and women are equally human: Allah has created both genders with a sense of human dignity, with physical desires and with hearts that have feelings. When wives get snappy and say mean things to their spouses, husbands do feel hurt and unloved; and when husbands are rude and hurl insults at their spouses, wives do feel humiliated and disrespected.
Every marriage is made up of two unique people of opposite genders. For this reason, generally accepted theories that may apply to many marriages may not apply to many others because different people are different.
And happy Muslim couples have this figured out. Ask them for examples of how they want these needs fulfilled: Write down their needs and preferences. They seek to be the answer to the dua that Allah has taught us to make: Chapter 25, Verse 74 ] What does it take to become a beautiful sight to look at? Smile at your spouse When was the last time you beamed at your spouse or saw your spouse smiling lovingly at you?
Look good for your spouse The noble companion Ibn Abbas is reported to have said: This is because Allah says: Yes, make this your mantra.
Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important and as easy as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping. Make these 20 minutes a fixed part of your routine, ideally just before your spouse gets home or before you sit down to relax at home after work. Looking good for each other has even more to do with maintaining your health and fitness.
You need to do this for your own self before anyone else. Slot in an hour at least everyday to work on your physical and mental fitness: If your spouse was the first person that came to your mind, you have a wonderful marriage Alhamdulillah. When the Prophet received the revelation for the first time, he began trembling with fear and ran to his wife Khadijah seeking comfort and reassurance saying: What is wrong with me?
I was afraid that something bad might happen to me. But receive the good tidings! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those who are stricken with calamities.
They make each other bloom Did you know your spouse was a separate person with a unique mind, heart, body and soul before they married you? And did you know that they still are that individual person, only with you by their side? Marriages begin to go headlong into constant unhappiness when one or both spouses forget this fundamental fact: