Gay Men’s Relationships: 10 Ways They Differ From Straight Relationships | HuffPost
Gay guys in relationships have an important part to play in ending HIV. You're in it together. Test regularly, & treat early should you contract HIV. It's OK: Gregory Rayo, Kai Stenstrum and Mark Aldridge, three gay men in love and living together as a triad outside of Boston, haven't heard of any either. As a couples counselor working with gay men I am often asked my opinion on monogamy and open gay relationships. What works for men in long-term.
Straight men face a lot of social pressure, still, to earn more than their wives. How these dynamics are expressed, and the conflicts that can result, are often the impetus for entering couples therapy. The gay men that I work with are often from mixed cultures or different nationalities.
These 3 Gay Men Are in a Successful, Loving Triad Relationship — Here's How It Works
But it also adds an extra layer of mystery, excitement, exoticism, and fun. But along with cultural differences, such as language, food, spirituality, traditions, and habits, can be cultural differences about money. Just ask a scholar in feminist studies if that statement is true. Unlike straight couples, who up until relatively recently had the monopoly on legal recognition of their relationships before domestic partnerships and marriage equality lawsgay men were treated by the law as two unrelated individuals under one roof, especially for legal and tax purposes.
They are more likely to have joint bank accounts, joint tax filing, and automatic rights of survivorship on everything from ks to Social Security survivor benefits — and they have for generations. Sex— Gay male couples tend to approach sex differently. We all know that gay male couples are much more likely to entertain the idea of, or even be in, a non-monogamous relationship. So, part of my job in couples counseling is to help gay men understand this, and to avoid making direct comparisons to straight relationships all the time some of the time is OK, particularly in confronting double-standards and internalized homophobia.
While this is not necessarily unique to gay men, a big factor can be finding time for sex, when often both partners are busy, high-level executives or professionals who work extraordinarily long hours or have jobs that require frequent travel. Household Chores— Perhaps surprisingly to a non-clinician, the issue of how to equitably and fairly divide the list of common household chores can be frequent topic in conjoint therapy.
While modern straight couples sometimes like to pretend that they are oh-so-liberated, in reality, in many or most cases, the woman is subtly expected to, and ends up doing, the majority of the household chores related to keeping things clean, organized, in good repair, supplied, delivered, monitored, and humming along in a domestic household. In couples counseling, I generally recommend that a Master List of Required Household Chores be written down, which is exhaustive and comprehensive.
Gay Men’s Relationships: 10 Ways They Differ From Straight Relationships
Who pays the bills? Who does the cleaning? Or, who supervises the cleaning? Who mows the lawn?
Gay Relationships | HuffPost
Or, who pays the gardener to mow the lawn? Who supervises the gardener? Who changes the light bulbs? Who picks up the dry cleaning? Often, making a list and then discussing how to divide it can be a discussion at home, or in session.
In Nancy Meyers' rom-coms, a character's house reflects a character's inner self.
Sunk into a brown sofa, a clean oasis in an accumulation of belongings, Stenstrum made clear what their one-bedroom apartment said about them. Stenstrum and Aldridge work during the day, as an IT support tech and a project manager.
On weekends, Rayo takes the sofa.
Eventually, they'll implement a rotation schedule when they move to a two-bedroom apartment. A rotation schedule may sound odd, but while the relationship's mechanics function differently, its core is downright banal: Stenstrum said the three were largely in unchartered territory.
Kramer said every relationship needs a little jealousy to thrive. Let me unpack things and see where this jealousy really comes from,'" he said.
Kramer said the best relationships, regardless of the number of people in them, are built on this kind of open and honest communication. Their fights can take on many structures: Their last fight found Rayo as the odd man out. On most days, Stenstrum cooks and Aldridge scrubs the dishes. For Aldridge, who is new to polyamory, this method of conflict is a vast improvement.
Having a third person around has been beneficial for Rayo, who often retreats to decompress. One time, Aldridge had to travel while Rayo felt ill. In their sex lives, they oscillate between being a unit and acting independently, with the help of communication.
They have sex all together, in multiple ways. They have sex one-on-one. They have sex inside the relationship and outside the relationship, though they often have to make sure people aren't using them for cheap thrills.