How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian: 1 Step - wikiHow
El proceso de salir del closet de un grupo de hombres homosexuales y la reacción de su familia. [María del Gay men -- Family relationships -- Puerto Rico. “Hay tantas experiencias significativas en mi cultura que tienen que ver con la vida de una persona heterosexual. Anoche, en el trabajo, mis dos mejores. Gay and lesbian adults' relationship with parents in Germany. Journal Of Marriage And Family . "Salir del clóset" en la Ciudad de México. Revista Salud Mental.
There is a notable need for new studies on the theme, increasing the visibility of this process. Coming out; sexual behavior; family; homosexuals At present, great visibility is given to questions related to loving relationships and their modes of expression, both affective and of sexual intimacy. Regarding gender, for Butlerit is a process that has no start or finish, being considered something that is "done" and not something that is "is".
The author states that "all gender is, by definition, unnatural" p. Homoaffective relationships have been gaining space and visibility in the scientific literature, in a posture of combating prejudices and promoting a culture of greater tolerance and respect for diversity Nascimento et al. Regarding the disclosure of sexual orientation 'outness' - refers to admitting one's homosexuality to oneself and 'coming out' refers to the process of disclosure of one's sexual orientation, commonly called "coming out of the closet" and family relationships, it is noted that this is a challenge for the individuals who want to tell their families, since there is the fear of being rejected by family members and by society.
One aspect is the frustration that the family can experience due to not living up to their expectations, since in a heteronormative way, homosexuality contradicts the socio-cultural construction of self and of the heterosexual man and woman. Here the expectation was the affirmation of the continuation of a patriarchal, rationalizing, sanitizing society concerned with not propagating any kind of threats from minority groups that affect the morality of traditional families Maffesoli, ; Miskolci, For Martins et al.
Thus, the family is seen as the major foundation so that the subjects can reveal their sexual orientation to themselves and to society. Conversely, the concealment of the sexual orientation can lead to serious problems of various orders, such as social, behavioral and psychological problems, which limit access to seeking social support and cause low self-esteem Meyer, It should be noted that the process of coming out goes through a series of movements, from "coming out of the closet" to the persistence in remaining "in the closet" even for the homosexuals that have assumed their homosexuality.
This is justified by a number of social issues, such as the secrecy of homosexuality with co-workers or in order to be included in a particular group. This movement fuels the idea that feelings and desires for homosexual peers should be kept "secret, conforming to historically created expectations that such relationships should remain invisible in the public space and restricted to the private lives of those involved" Miskolci,p.
Homosexuality, when revealed to the family, can cause problems in the relationships. For the young people who decide to come out, there can be great frustration due to the impact caused for the family members, who, in many cases, cannot create a welcoming environment, in the way that is expected of this institution.
The difficulty for parents and family members to deal with these issues must also be considered, as they are often surrounded by fears themselves and do not feel comfortable talking about and dealing with issues of sexuality in general Zimmerman et al.
From this perspective, the present study aimed to understand the repercussions in the family relationships for young adult homosexuals when revealing their sexual orientation. Method Study Type This was an integrative review of national and international literature.
The integrative review aims to gather and synthesize study re-sults related to a particular subject or theme, in a synthesized and orderly manner, being one of the most used tools in the context of EBP. According to recommendations for carrying out an integrative review and starting from the search for the best evidence Mendes et al.
The question was worded as follows: What are the repercussions of the revelation of sexual orientation O in the family relationships I of young adult homosexuals P?
The descriptors consulted were: Furthermore, for these authors, sexual orientation "refers to the ability of each person to have a deep emotional, affective or sexual attraction to individuals of a different gender, of the same gender or of more than one gender, as well as having intimate and sexual relations with these people" p. From these words, combinations were made to broaden the search for the data. Inclusion and Exclusion Criteria The inclusion criteria were: Articles that did not correspond to the objective of the present study were discarded, given their low degree of providing evidence for the practice.
The exclusion criteria adopted were: Data collection was carried out in May After the initial searches using the descriptors and their combinations, the inclusion and exclusion criteria filters were applied. The studies were then re-analyzed in terms of titles and abstracts in a new evidence-filtering procedure, conducted by two independent judges. From this, the studies were retrieved and read in full, in order to make a new selection, now more detailed and using the full texts.
These procedures were carried out by two independent judges, both psychologists that work with the theme. Cases of disagreement were analyzed by a third judge.
From these elements, the articles were discussed, considering the analytical procedures of the integrative review Mendes et al. The final corpus was organized in an Excel spreadsheet, highlighting, for each article retrieved in the final sample, the following aspects necessary to identify the profile of the publications: Thus, the articles that made up the final corpus were analyzed in order to answer the guiding question.
Based on the results of the studies in the databases and the guiding question, two categories were elaborated, so that, in each of them, the articles that had a similar theme were discussed. It should be noted that social markers were not taken into consideration for the selection of the studies, as this point was not listed for the composition of the corpus or for the formation of the categories of analysis.
In this way, the following broad categories were constructed: These categories will be explored in the Discussion section. Results The processes of search, selection and retrieval of evidence are summarized in the flow-chart Figure 1. The final corpus consisted of 38 articles. This factor shows that, in the international literature, the revelation of sexual orientation in the family has been researched for longer, with there being more studies about the subject.
The journal that most appeared among the publications was Temas em Psicologia 7. Research and Practice 5. The other journals appeared only once each, representing, therefore, 2. It was noted that studies related to coming out are being performed in Brazil and published in periodicals related to Psychology. Studies on the process of disclosure of sexual orientation are still scarce compared to the number of studies related to homosexuality, which mostly cover related issues, such as HIV and other pathologies, public health, mental health, alcohol and drugs, risk behavior, body image, suicide, same-sex parenting, and queer theory, among others.
Qualitative investigations represented Discussion Homosexuality and Family: Outness and the Coming out Process It should be noted that the studies selected cover the revelation of the sexual orientation of both gays and lesbians, in the family, professional and personal contexts, allowing the investigation and identification of issues related to the coming out process - the revelation or concealment of their homosexuality, also known as the process of "coming out of the closet".
Thus, it can be noted that coming out does not always happen, due to issues that can be listed in this category. It was identified that these groups seek support in society in order to feel encouraged to reveal their sexual orientation, the family being seen as the source of possible encouragement for their children, which does not always occur and that can favor the individual remaining "in the closet".
For Guardarrama and Alfonsoaccording to the statements of the homosexual men interviewed, one of the points for the delay in "coming out of the closet" is the lack of information and discussions about homosexuality, which delayed the revelation and the process of acceptance within the families of each participant.
In the study by Costa, Machado, and Wagnerthe homosexuals interviewed showed a strong tendency to reveal their sexual orientation to their family and friends, confident that they would be accepted and that they could find a point of support and refuge in these people.
Not being seen as possible sources of prejudice and discrimination. For these interviewees, prejudice was only observed in environments outside the family, such as at work. One important point is that the family is worried about the prejudices that the child may suffer, which does not guarantee that the prejudice will not happen inside their own house. There are veiled prejudices, such as saying that they do not discriminate against the child, however, that it is good that this information remains only among them, reinforcing the idea of maintaining secrecy related to intimacy within the private environment, as if the affections cannot be visible in the public sphere Miskolci, From these studies Costa et al.
It is also worth reflecting on the expectation and reality experienced by the homosexuals who opt for the process of coming out, even if selective, so that they can seek support from friends or institutions that welcome them without prejudice. The practice of sexual relations considered "more appropriate" and "natural" was advocated, with anything that was different from the initial idea - procreation - being considered inappropriate and perverted.
However, the American Psychology Association intogether with the Federal Council of Brazilian Medicine in and the World Health Organization WHO instopped considering homosexuality to be a "sexual deviation disorder" and found that homosexuality did not constitute a disease or even a perversion Mott,but an orientation Martins et al.
In a study only with lesbians, it was identified that they see the family as a fundamental nucleus for the revelation of the sexual orientation, since they feel strengthened to fight for their ideals, having the home as a point of support. If they suffer from any social discrimination due to their sexual orientation, the interviewees said that, with the support offered by their fathers and mothers, they could fight for their rights.
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It can be observed that with the male population the discourse is not always the same, with discrimination being more noticeable in the statements analyzed, which may also be related to gender issues Costa et al.
Reinforcing the idea of discrimination in the family nucleus and contradicting the study of Costa et al. These negative reactions have led to the investigation of alternatives to help lesbians with their families, such as psychological care for all - parents and children - in a way that helps the internal organization of the whole family. In this way, psychological support for the family and for the homosexual is essential, so that there is better comprehension and a greater probability of acceptance, both for the revealer and for the recipient of the information.
It should be noted that the acceptance is also a process. Acceptance can happen immediately, gradually, or not at all, as with the coming out, which can be expressed to nobody, a few people or to everybody in the circle of friendship, not necessarily at the same time.
In a study carried out by LaSalathrough the performance of a family therapeutic process with the nuclei involved in the study, it was concluded that there was a clash between family life and male and female homosexuality and that the coexistence between the parents of both sexes and the gay or lesbian children generated a number of conflicts due to not accepting the sexual orientation of the child.
In this way, attention is drawn to the desire for acceptance as a process that can be a mechanism of less frustration for homosexuals who have been rejected by some of the family and the social network, since, over time, the situations can go through positive changes.
Because it is a process, it is possible that after an undetermined time the situation can change, while the homosexuals can also decide to reveal their sexual orientation to more people than they may have already, highlighting the notion of the "closet" as a fluid concept that is in permanent movement Miskolci, ; Sedgwick, In the study by Silva and Rodriguesthe difficulties in "coming out of the closet" were highlighted, citing that society shapes identity and, therefore, this disclosure can lead to serious personal tensions within the work and family contexts.
These tensions favor the subjects not revealing their sexual orientation, possibly generating situations of disaffection not only for them, but also for the possible partnerships formed. The interviewees reported not revealing themselves due to the expectations that the family and society have, such as marrying, having children, and the types of places they frequent, as in the study by Passamaniin which the men interviewed reported having heterosexual marriages, having children and being homosexual, maintaining extramarital relations.
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The "creation of closets" is also seen, where individuals hide behind social and religious concepts, in order to remain "locked in" Poeschl et al. The study by Sedgwick should be mentioned, in which the author portrayed the issues related to staying in the "closet" and the fact that this is a subject that has not yet been completely covered with regard to the scope of the knowledge, that is, there is still much to discover, experience and know about homosexuality and the issues related to sexuality.LGBTQ - 8 Coming Out Tips
The author referred to the "closet" as something that in some cases homosexuals are forced to return to in certain circumstances of their life, such as, for example, when faced with a new job or a certain group of friends or family members.
Thus, the creation of the closet arises according to the need of the homosexual to come out or to go back inside it. For Silva and Nardithe judiciary has a fundamental role so that everyone can feel free to experience their sexuality, without discrimination based on sexual orientation.
Thus, it can be observed that the revelation of sexual orientation differs from family to family, whether it is a revelation by a man or woman, with homosexuality generally still not being well received by families, denoting an image of "mistake", of discrimination and of guilt on both sides, making the moment even more conflicting for the families.
In the families where the news was welcomed, the strengthening of the bonds and a lower risk of internal and external conflicts can be seen. More studies that evaluate coming out are recommended, aiming to encourage families to know other similar stories, promoting a culture of acceptance and encouragement from the recognition of diversity.
The Family Faced with the Coming out Process of the Child Studies show that the coming out process of a child can lead to various forms of violence within the family, which can generate situations of diverse tensions, causing psychic suffering and uncertainties, which in many cases contradict what the young person would expect to receive.
Sometimes the home of these young people has turned out to be the scene of major conflicts, mainly after the revelation of the sexual orientation. There were attempts by the family to bring the young people to the hegemonic sexual norm, which creates more suffering for all involved. One way parents try to resolve this issue of the revelation is through physical and psychological violence, which can cause the disclosure to be delayed or hidden, depending on the case.
This difficulty encountered in the revelation attempt may or may not lead to not disclosing, with the emotional consequences possibly being highly diverse, in addition to causing the young people a number of frustrations due to failing to acknowledge their sexual orientation.
Therefore, the home becomes a place of contradictions, since it is expected that it will provide support and be a refuge in the face of discrimination from society. In a study about the acceptance process of mothers faced with the disclosure of the sexual orientation of their child, it can be perceived that those homosexuals who received support from the family could deal more calmly with issues related to their sexuality Oksal, In general, there are family difficulties in accepting the sexual orientation that conflicts with what is established by the culture as "correct" - heteronormativity.
In relation to mothers, it was observed that they can go through the process of invisibility of the sexual orientation of the child, in an attempt to escape the possible preoccupations in relation to their suffering.
Both the concerns and the guilt can be diminished through dialogue with the children, as well as by seeking support from relatives, friends or even institutions that can help in this moment. Just as coming out is a process for the family, the revelation of homosexuality is also a process for the homosexual and, accordingly, time is often needed to be reflective and, perhaps, to be accepted.
In the study by Lomando et al. For the authors, the communication media helped in the process of parenting faced with the reality exposed, in that the media shows them how the outness and coming out processes and the whole process that the homosexual faces occur, trying to diminish in parents and in society a possible view they often have that gay and lesbian children are disconnected, that they do not seek to involve themselves in constituting a family, and in some cases are thought of as anti-family.
In the study of Toledo and Teixeirait was noted that sexuality is still seen within the norms of the nineteenth century, which causes great suffering for homosexuals. It was observed that in the interviews where there was no disclosure of the sexual orientation there was also no discrimination in the family.
While in those cases where the disclosure occurred, moments of intrafamily homophobia were experienced.
It should be noted that the people who did not tell the family perceived that there would be repression if they did tell, with their silence continuing to be a form of apprehension. In this sense, Diamond and Shpigel suggested that if the family is aggressive, remaining "in the closet" may be the best alternative to avoid possible confrontations and negative attitudes and that they could seek support in other ways, such as from friends, support groups, LGBT NGOs and through individual therapy.
It is important to mention that, while remaining in the "closet" to avoid family conflicts, seeking help, as the authors cite, is of paramount importance to the physical and mental health of the young people, so that, even if not revealing it to the family, they can experience their sexuality according to their orientation, not following the social model used.
Caring for oneself is also asserting one's rights, even if this is not revealed to the family, as seen in the Frost, Meyer, and Schwartz study, in which the support of friends and LGBT groups was of paramount importance for less stress in the quotidian and higher quality of life, regardless of the support or not of the family. In the view of Santos, Brochado, et al. For example, some LGBT youth become aware of and accept their same-sex desires or gender identity at puberty in a way similar to which heterosexual teens become aware of their sexuality, i.
High school students and even middle school students are coming out. This largely contradicts the growing movement in social media research indicating that online use, particularly Facebook, can lead to negative mental health outcomes such as increased levels of anxiety.
While further research is needed to assess whether these results generalize to a larger sample, these recent findings open the door to the possibility that gay men's online experiences may differ from heterosexuals' in that it may be more likely to provide mental health benefits than consequences. You can help by adding to it. May Further information: LGBT rights by country or territory In areas of the world where homosexual acts are penalized or prohibited, gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people can suffer negative legal consequences for coming out.
In particular, where homosexuality is a crime, coming out may constitute self-incrimination. These laws still exist in 76 countries worldwide, including Egypt, Iran, Singapore, and Afghanistan. Effects[ edit ] In the early stages of the lesbian, gay or bisexual identity development process, people feel confused and experience turmoil. InMichelangelo Signorile wrote Queer in Americain which he explored the harm caused both to a closeted person and to society in general by being closeted.
On the personal and relationship levels, effects of not coming out have been the subject of studies. For example, it has been found that same-sex couples who have not come out are not as satisfied in their relationships as same-sex couples who have. Strong, loving relationships between children and their parents may be strengthened but if a relationship is already strained, those relationships may be further damaged or destroyed by the child coming out.
A report by Robinson et al.
El proceso de salir del closet de un grupo de hombres homosexuales y la reacción de su familia
The study found that two-thirds of parents reacted negatively. LGBT youth are among the largest population of homeless youth; this has typically been caused by the self-identification and acknowledgment of being gay or identifying with the LGBT community.
During his study, he learned that almost all of his participants would only attribute negative behaviors with themselves during the coming out conversations and positive behaviors with the recipient of the conversation. Manning suggests further research into this to figure out a way for positive behaviors to be seen and performed equally by both the recipient and the individual coming out.
Nonetheless, Butler is willing to appear at events as a lesbian and maintains that "it is possible to argue that Further, "To be out, in common gay parlance, is precisely to be no longer out; to be out is to be finally outside of exteriority and all the exclusions and deprivations such outsiderhood imposes.
Or, put another way, to be out is really to be in—inside the realm of the visible, the speakable, the culturally intelligible. Furthermore, Seidman, Meeks, and Traschen argue that "the closet" may be becoming an antiquated metaphor in the lives of modern-day Americans for two reasons.
Homosexuality is becoming increasingly normalized and the shame and secrecy often associated with it appears to be in decline. The metaphor of the closet hinges upon the notion that stigma management is a way of life. However, stigma management may actually be increasingly done situationally.
National Coming Out Day[ edit ] Main article: Candace Gingrich became the spokesperson for the day in April